Supporters of Love

Thursday, July 14, 2011

Ebony Moore: Artist and Survivor Against Domestic Violence

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I got a sweet email from a young lady named Ebony Moore, or E-Bone (her musical stage name), who inspired me through her words, music, art and thoughts on life.  I am so excited to share her with you all as I am certain you will take away much from her story and her art.  Here is what she said:
Ebony Moore (E-Bone)

I hope your day is blessed.  My name is E-Bone and I'm a passionate singer/songwriter from North Carolina hoping to inspire other survivors as well as current victims!  I pray that my music will empower those who are suffering and may they find the strength and faith to walk away and not be a victim anymore.  I really want to encourage other women.  I've been through mental, sexual and physical abuse and have finally found the courage as an artist to not only write about it but record it, not the abuse part but, how I overcame and am determined to win!  I want others to feel as victoriously as I do because, we all deserve peace, love & happiness.  I'm now engaged to a wonderful man and thank God that I did walk away years ago or it could have meant my life, then I would never know how precious and wonderful life truly can be.  Thank you so much for your time and keep up the amazing work! :)

Of course, I am happy to share her music with you along with an interview and the original, powerful art.  Please get to know the extremely talented and strong woman that is Ebony Moore in her own words:

Describe briefly your experience with domestic violence?

My dad was mentally abusive at times when I was growing up.  He would get drunk and come home enraged with my mom who didn't like him drinking at all.  He'd take his problems out on all of us and it was crazy!  Sometimes we'd have to call the police to calm him down.  He would raise his voice, punch holes in the walls or break things.  He would say hurtful things to my mom, brothers and myself that scarred us.  When I got older, I thought this kind of behavior was something all men possessed.  I thought it was normal for men to have attitudes, be control freaks and that a man didn't care about me or love me if he wasn't possessive over me.  I was in two different abusive relationships, one when I was 21-22 and then the next when I was 23-25.  I don't blame my dad though because I realize now that someone hurt him too.  He is now a deacon in the church and very inspiring!  So if God can forgive him so can I.

Can you tell us about a particular incident that stands out in your mind and the approximate date?

The first guy was mentally abusive and obsessed over my weight if he thought I was getting fat and would criticize my hair and clothing, this was in 1999.  When I discovered he had cheated on me, I broke up with him.  He stalked me and one night almost pushed my car off the road with his, so I pulled over and he rushed to my car window with a gun, demanding for me to get out.  He said that if he can't have me, nobody will and pulled the trigger but by the grace of God, the gun was jammed.  As he tried to fix it, I jumped in my car and sped off.  He threw the gun at the car but missed. Even more sad, his 3 yr old son was in his car crying at the time.  Once I got the police involved, he never bothered me again.  Then I met the next guy a year later and he was older, about 37 and a "prince charming."  He showered me with expensive gifts and took me to fancy restaurants but when I would voice my opinion or question things, he would get angry and hit me in my face.  He would force me to have sex and sometimes brought in a friend after he had gotten me drunk and let him lay with me, too.  It was awful.  I never reported anything because I felt the blame and since he was my boyfriend, I was suppose to do "whatever" for him.  I was young and confused.  Until, the Lord sent me a sweet friend and she would pray with me and I was able to leave him and gained a strength that would change me forever.  I never let anyone abuse me after that!

Ebony's music available on itunes now!  


How did you deal with the aftermath of abuse?

Even though I always had my music as an outlet to escape and hide the pain and shame I felt inside.  It wasn't enough to suppress it.  I had suicidal thoughts, so my friends encouraged me to get some counseling and I did.  I also continued to pray and the more I talked about it with loved ones who understood, the better I felt.  I became stronger and now ready to sing about it!  I want to help others become stronger too. 

Were you able to take legal action against your abuser and if so, what happened?

I only reported the first abuser and of course, he was let go.  During that time, being from a small town, the police just basically said don't do it again and let him go.  By the grace of God, he left me alone.  He got married, but is now divorced, living with his mother and is miserable.  He saw me one day and apologized for the past.  I forgave him and went on my way.  The second guy, he just went on with life, thinking he threw me away and because he has his money, he can get any woman he wants.  I pray for him, because he now suffers with a serious illness that has slowed him way down.  I've only seen him once since we split in 2002 and he apologized and I let him know that I had already forgiven him.  I pray they have both changed.

Original hand drawn artwork, by Ebony Moore.


What advice can you give other domestic violence survivors?

Forgive and press forward.  Do not hold onto any bitterness or resentment towards the individual because you will continue to be a victim inside and trapped to the pain.  You will be cold-hearted and mean to people who don't deserve it and it's not fair.  You need to release it and let go and let GOD!  You survived, the worst is over.  You have a chance to enjoy the rest of your days, victoriously.  Some are not so fortunate.  We survived for a reason and if we can just encourage one person who has been affected like we have that is a blessing!

Describe your music and writing and how does this help you heal?

My music is definitely my mirror.  I always sing and write to me, so that I can get through whatever or just express my feelings.  It's a mixture of r&b, pop & rock with some gospel influence.  Music is very therapeutic in general and I thank God for giving me the gift of singing, writing and composing.  I'm able to share my stories through song and have actually had people come up to me after a performance and tell me how my music touched them.  It's incredible because the responses are never the same, so it amazes me how each person in the audience might take something different from the exact same song.  It encourages me to know that my stories inspire or uplift others.  It means its not done in vain and that I truly have a purpose.  I also have a song entitled, "Soldier", which was written as a song of survival in 1999, but it became a favorite amongst soldiers and I've performed it for some soldiers before they were deployed to Iraq as well as some veterans on local TV!



Can you tell us about your artwork?

My artwork is something I do to relax my mind.  When I have no words to say or write down, I convey it through my artwork.  I mean, I am totally out of it while I'm drawing and I use mostly inks, because a mistake is not a mistake to me, but another line or dot that leads me to create something else unique on the page until I have this masterpiece.  It's a gift!  I have designed several posters, banners, invitations and name plates for others but art shows would not ever showcase my work, because they misunderstood it.  They didn't have a category for it, so they'd just ask me to take it home instead of putting it on display.  I've even designed a poster for some disadvantaged kids that Kansas City Chief's Tight End, Tony Gonzalez's Shadow Buddies Foundation supports.  I've done it all for free because it's just an enjoyment for me.  My reward is brightening someone's day with it.  

What mediums did you use in this piece, "Spiritual Warfare" (markers, colored pencils)?

In the "Spiritual Warfare" piece, I used some dark ink, light colored pens, colored pencils of all colors as well as a highlighter.  I was feeling between melancholy and anxious to just get out and party my blues away, but yet praying for balance and peace within.   I grabbed a sheet of typing paper from the printer and just started drawing.  I stayed in that night and put my emotions on paper.  I titled it "Spiritual Warfare," because that's just what it was, the angel on one shoulder battling against the devil on the other and I was stuck hopelessly in the middle.  



If you can tell someone out there who is in an abusive relationship one thing, what would it be?

Get out now!  There is help.  You are not alone with your fear or emotions.  Do not feel ashamed or embarrassed because it's not your fault.  Call the police and seek help!  There are various organizations such as My Sister's House as well as the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence who will support and comfort you!  Please get out because your life is at stake!

What made you contact The Compassion Fashion Project and how do you feel our organization helps women?

I contacted The Compassion Fashion Project because I was moved by how you help others through the arts.  You help women by allowing them a chance to speak and be heard, so that the inspiration comes from them.  It's not someone who has never been through it that's speaking out against domestic violence but some amazing and courageous women who have experienced it.  They are wonderfully gifted as well.  You have poets, designers, artists and motivational speakers who may not even know that they are, but they're stories have enlightened so many!  It's phenomenal and I'm so honored to be a part of this awesome new journey and I pray to be just as inspiring as all of you. 
Artist, vocalist and advocate, Ebony Moore.

11 comments:

  1. Very inspiring. To suffer that first from your father, would really make you think that that type of behavior is acceptable. Meredith I gave you a blog award on my latest blog post!

    Shasie
    Blog Awards 5

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  2. Thank you so much Shasie! I am going to post the award soon:-)

    Ebony is really happy to share her music and inspire others through her story. I am very proud of her for sharing. Thanks ladies for your comments!

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  3. It is very powerful. You just never know who will read this or hear her music and feel a little better about what they have been through or are going through.

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  4. Thank you all so much for your wonderful encouraging comments. It wasn't always easy for me to bare my soul, so I greatly appreciate you so much :) I really hope to inspire others. Blessings to you all and Meredith, You're The BEST!! ((Hugs))

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  5. Ebony, you know how I feel about you...you are brave, strong and extremely talented. I love you for choosing The Compassion Fashion Project to "bare your soul." It's a group effort saving the world and all, eh? Much love, lady~Meredith

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  6. It is the hardest thing in the world to forgive, especially for something as damaging and hurtful as the abuse that is described above, gawsh it breaks my heart really. So I have nothing but complete admiration for this women and I'm so happy to hear that she is loved and she is loving life.

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  7. Well done Ebony! Standing ovation!! much love and power to you my friend!! -suzanne perry

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  8. I have also been the victim of domestic violence for many years. It is extremely difficult for someone that has never had this experience to understand why it is you stay or go back. I have been on my own for almost 4 years but have continued to allow my abuser back into my life "for the children". Well last week while he was once again stalking me...he punched me in the face in the laundry mat, tried to run me off the road, and pointed a gun at me with my children in the car... now I have to fear DCFS taking my kids away because "I" allowed them to witness this. I have had no contact with him since 11/3... DV is like a drug sometimes that you cant kick...like mabey heroin is to a addict. I commend you for what you are doing. I am hoping that one day my testimony will help someone else get out of abuse.... best of luck to you and what you are doing! <3

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  9. Hi Kesha, this is terrible! I appreciate your comments and I would love to talk to you further if you will email me please...ebonemusic@yahoo.com
    You are not alone...Love & Blessings to you! I'm praying for you and your children.

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