My Shell, By: Anonymous

The third piece to my friend's trilogy...

My Shell is my most recent writing. To me, it explains what happens when you have reached the lowest point in an abusive relationship. You lose yourself in the process of making someone love you...making someone stay. But, they are going to walk away anyway. After all the emotional distress I had endured, I felt completely outside myself. I watched the story unfold as if I was watching it instead of losing it. It's about the loss of control. It's about the loss of the faith you once had. It's about the realization of yet another failed relationship. It's about the realization that I've entanged myself in two significant, unhealthy relationships in my life.

Photo By: Luigi Diamanti

My Shell 

Winter chill fills the air

And a sense of hopelessness washes over me.

I step outside my body

And sit and watch me.

I am crying--I am numb—

And the cold winter air cannot compare

To the to the shattering of my heart.

I sit and watch my shell as she slowly fades away.

Without her soul she cannot function.

I call out her name but she walks the other way...

She disappears into the night

And I search for her

She is nowhere to be seen,

Even when it turns daylight.

I realize he took this from her,

Her insides that made up her being.

She gave everything to him

And has nothing now,

Nothing left she can see.

My shell finally returns and asks me to come back

And to help her be whole again.

I step into her and we walk into the day

Silence was key; there was nothing else left to say.