The second poem in a series by Elizabeth Newell. Recovering from domestic violence is often a disturbing process and this series of poems is meant to give a deeper understanding of this and why as a community it is vital for us to show patience and understanding to the victims.
Written: Saturday, March 22, 2008
i wanted to float
i moved the corner.
the sun left.
cant breathe, trying to be numb, but theres still feeling.
friends are distrusting & i cant see them anyway.
someone sang & i was put in a cage.
lifes a bitter taste when it comes back up.
who left me? did i deserve it? were they even here?
i have no savior. i have no husband. i have no back bone.
i miss my chair. where i sat in his lap. he held me when i cried, cause i missed my chance.
hes gone. and i left him. i had to. my skin begged me for freedom.
now pale & no longer bruised. we are alone. missing the pain & punches.
accustomed to being dirt. i look for the lowest points i can find. swell & squirm, until i almost suffucate.
life is laughing at me. time has became a disillusion.
surrounding myself with people who dont matter or love me. looking for a home when the drifting tires me.
i am death. still breathing.
and he's missed as i inhale.
i am not. no one misses me.
here for my daughter. if it wasn't for her.. i would of been in the water.
pulled from the bridge and saved by the one person i was told i should beware. he's the only male friend that has been true to me. sir thomas brought me through.
floating was a nice idea.
however she would of missed me.
i will never make her feel like this.